Dating in your 40s can feel daunting, especially if you've been out of the game for a while. However, there are still plenty of opportunities to meet eligible single men over 40 if you know where to look. Whether you're recently divorced and re-entering the dating pool, or you've been single for years but have had no luck meeting someone special, finding love after 40 is absolutely possible.
Before exploring the best places to meet men over 40, it helps to understand what men this age are typically looking for in a partner. While every man has unique preferences, there are some general tendencies among 40-something men when it comes to relationships:
Physical attraction still matters in a relationship at this age
Now that you have an idea of what single men over 40 want in a relationship, where can you actually find them? Here are some of the best places and ways to meet men in this age bracket:
Don't underestimate the power of your existing social network! Let close friends know you're getting back into dating and ask them to set you up on blind dates with any single men they know. Attending dinner parties and social events with coupled friends is another way to get introduced to their single male friends organically. Around 30% of couples meet through friends and family, so don't be shy about mixing your social circles.
Don't underestimate the power of your existing social network!
Attending charity walks, volunteer events, street fairs, and other community gatherings is a prime way to meet single men over 40. Guys this age tend to be settled in their communities and are more likely to frequent local happenings. Strike up conversations while waiting in line for food or drinks, and you might just meet a philanthropic gentleman. Even if you don't click romantically, these events are great for making new friends.
If you want to be absolutely sure you're surrounded by eligible single men in your preferred age range, consider attending a speed dating or singles mixer geared specifically towards mature dating. Many organizations and dating services hold these types of events for people 40 and over looking for love. It may feel awkward at first, but it's a safe environment where everyone is looking to meet someone.
Giving back is attractive at any age, so looking for volunteer gigs related to your passions can lead you to fulfilling work and potential partners. Animal shelters, Habitat for Humanity builds, political campaigns, and environmental groups tend to have a mix of men and women of all ages. Shared dedication to a cause can help form an instant bond.
Is there a local pub or cafe holding weekly trivia or game nights? These types of events provide a relaxed atmosphere for mingling and tend to attract a mix of singles and couples. Arrive early to snag a table and encourage single male participants to join your team. Bonus points if you know some obscure trivia to help your team win!
Arrive early to snag a table and encourage single male participants to join your team
If you have kids, joining a local single parents' group is a great way to meet men who understand the responsibilities of parenthood. You can bond over the unique challenges and joys of raising kids solo. Many major cities have single mom and single dad clubs focused on social events for single parents.
Participating in a local recreational sports league like softball or bowling is a fun way to meet active single men over 40. These leagues tend to form new teams each season, so simply signing up as an individual means you'll get placed on a team needing extra players. Sports provide natural icebreakers that make connecting with teammates easy.
Wine, beer, spirits - whatever your alcoholic beverage of choice, you can likely find organized tastings and tours in your area catering to enthusiasts. Sign up for a mixology class or vineyard tour to sip vino with potential partners. Just be sure to drink responsibly so any connections aren't wine-goggled.
Picking up a whole new hobby or skill can be rewarding in more ways than one. Sign up for a cooking, art, or golf class and you might just meet your match while learning something new. Community education programs and local activity clubs offer short-term classes for all interests and skill levels.
While millennials pioneered the dating app revolution, usage by older demographics is rising rapidly. According to a Pew Research study, dating app usage among people aged 50-64 doubled from 2013 to 2019. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Invme let you set an age range so you only see matches in your preferred demographic.
The advantage of Invme is that everyone who posts ads knowingly assumes a real meeting. Invme.com is a free city social network app to discover and share what is happening here and now in your city. Share, discover and connect: invme.com offers both locals and tourists the way to share events in the city in an easier way.
According to a Pew Research study, dating app usage among people aged 50-64 doubled from 2013 to 2019
Does your favorite author have an upcoming book tour? Attending a reading or signing event at your local bookstore can be a literary aficionado's dream - especially if said aficionado happens to be a single guy over 40. Even just hanging out at a bookstore's café and striking up conversation about literature can lead to a connection.
If you're going through separation or divorce, joining a local support group can provide comfort while expanding your social circle. Talking through emotional challenges with others experiencing the same thing can help you ultimately move forward. And you never know who else might be looking for love again.
Sharing laughter is a great way to spark a connection. Attending standup comedy shows at local clubs, especially on weeknights, provides plenty of opportunity to chat with men before and after the show. Even something as simple as commenting on the comedian's set can start a conversation.
For adventurous singles, joining a travel club focused on group trips and tours can scratch your wanderlust itch while introducing you to compatible men. Many niche travel clubs cater to certain demographics or interests, so search for one that aligns with your own. Travel provides unique bonding experiences.
Cultured single gentlemen often frequent museums, galleries, and public art happenings. Pay special attention if an exhibit relates to your own interests - a man admiring the same pieces could share your passions. Time your visit near opening hours on slower nights for a more intimate, uncrowded experience.
Music is one of the greatest common interests out there when looking to bond. Attending concerts and music festivals expands your chances of meeting someone the more events you go to. Strike up conversation about the bands you're excited to see or memories associated with their music.
Some churches and religious centers offer structured divorce care programs and support groups for members going through separation or divorce. If faith and spirituality are important to you, this can be a compassionate space to connect with others experiencing similar challenges.
If faith and spirituality are important to you, this can be a compassionate space to connect with others experiencing similar challenges
Farmer's markets are community hot spots that tend to attract health-conscious singles interested in local, fresh food. Browsing stalls and sampling products makes for easy conversation starters. You'll also get a sense of someone's lifestyle through the foods they gravitate towards.
If you've been working with a life coach, counselor, or therapist during or after your divorce, ask them to refer any single male clients they think you may click with. Coaches have insight into their clients' personalities and relationship goals and may know of compatible prospects open to introductions.
If you've been working with a life coach, counselor, or therapist during or after your divorce, ask them to refer any single male clients they think you may click with
Meeting single men over 40 requires intention, effort, and putting yourself out there. Here are some of the most effective approaches:
Subtly emphasizing you're single in conversation signals openness to mingling with eligible men
Once you've initiated conversation with a man, flirting helps express romantic interest and gauge whether it's mutual. Here are some flirting strategies to try:
The key is to adjust your flirting style based on his personality and response. Pay attention to the flirting signals he returns to gauge if your interest is reciprocated.
Subtly leaning your body closer to his while conversing enters his personal space
Even if you ultimately want to find a partner, embrace the unique benefits of being single in your 40s:
This period of your life is an opportunity for self-discovery. Eventually finding a great partner will simply enhance - not define - your happiness.
Ultimately, finding love after 40 and meeting a great man requires equal parts optimism and patience. While chemistry can happen instantly, forming a deep connection more often requires getting to know someone over time. Attending events regularly, making yourself approachable, flirting effectively, and staying open to possibility are all pieces of the puzzle.
Remember that the journey is just important as the destination. Along the way, you'll likely form inspiring new friendships, discover fun new hobbies, and learn more about yourself. So try out some new activities in your area, embrace your flirtatious side when you click with someone, and don't get discouraged if it takes meeting a few frogs before finding your prince. Wishing you all the best as you get back out there!