When to Text Between Dates ⌚️ Corey Wayne's Advice on Texting

To Text or Not To Text: Finding The Balance Between Dates

Texting between dates can be a tricky balance. Text too much, and you risk coming across as needy or desperate. Don't text enough, and your date may think you've ghost her. Dating coach Corey Wayne has some wisdom to offer on this modern dating dilemma.

What's The Right Frequency For Texting Between Dates?

According to Corey Wayne, a dating & relationship coach with over 15 years of experience, texting frequently between dates can backfire. It demonstrates over-eagerness and neediness, draining your masculine energy. As Wayne writes in an email newsletter:

"A lot of needy guys will text a girl way too much between dates, like every day, multiple times per day. They think this is showing interest and will spark attraction with women. In reality, it just makes him look desperate and needy in her eyes, which will cause her to lose interest."

So what's the right frequency? Wayne recommends texting minimally, mostly to set up dates. Send the occasional meme or funny story, but don't have long drawn-out conversations over text. Save that for in-person dates.

As he writes:

"When you are first dating a girl, your texts should be few and far between, maybe a couple of texts per week max until you’ve had sex a couple of times... keep the texting light and fun, while focusing on setting definite dates so you can get to know each other in person."

So according to the Corey Wayne texting philosophy, less is more. Don't barage her with constant messaging and texting. Keep it minimal, save the bonding conversations for real life, and focus on setting up the next date.

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Why Is Over-Texting An Issue?

There are a few key reasons why over-texting can backfire, according to Wayne:

1. It demonstrates neediness and desperation. When you've texted a woman, especially between the first few dates, it signals you're overly invested in someone you barely know. It reeks of desperation rather than abundance mentality.
2. It removes mystery and intrigue. Getting to know someone should be exciting. Texting non-stop eliminates that sense of discovery. Save conversations for in-person meetings so there's still mystery when you meet up.
3. It gives away your power. As Wayne says, texting should always be "give and take". When you're initiating the bulk of conversations via text, you're putting in all the effort. Don't chase - let her invest back into you.
4. It provides validation and attention. Many women enjoy the constant stream of validation and attention from men texting them. But too much too soon does not build attraction. Make her earn your attention through equal effort.
5. It eliminates challenge. Pursuing a woman should involve some challenge. Making yourself too available via text eliminates that fun dynamic. Maintain a bit of distance to keep things interesting.

How To Find The Right Texting Balance According to Coach Corey Wayne

Finding the texting sweet spot between demonstrating interest while maintaining intrigue and challenge is an art. Here are some tips from Wayne on striking that balance:

• Focus on setting dates first. Keep texting focused on setting up the next date. Quick logistics texts are fine, but keep it simple early on.
• Mirror her efforts. Match her texting frequency and depth. If she's texting paragraphs, write paragraphs back. If she's brief, keep it short. Reciprocate her level of effort.
• Don't text first. Wayne suggests letting the woman initiate at least 50% of texts. Never send multiple unanswered texts. Let her invest back into you.
• Don't overanalyze pace. Everyone has different texting styles. Don't stress if her frequency is different than yours, focus on whether she's still agreeing to set dates.
• Text for logistics mainly. Use texting primarily for quick date planning. Keep convos focused on scheduling the next meeting.
• Limit emotional/sexual texts. Having an emotional connection is great, but save deeper convos for in-person. Sexting can also wait until intimacy is established.
• Text other women. Until exclusivity is established, continue meeting other women. Texting multiple girls prevents over-investment and maintains abundance mentality.

The key principles are keeping texting focused on logistics, not over-texting, and letting her match your effort. If she texts frequently, mirror that. If she hardly texts, don't perceive it as disinterest if she's still agreeing to dates. Match her pace.

When To Text After The First Date - Holding Emotional Self-Control

What about texting after that crucial first date? How long should you wait? According to Wayne:

"It’s always best to wait until the next day to text a woman after the first date unless she texts you first. This shows her that you’re not needy and that you’re a cool, relaxed, confident guy. It also keeps the mystery alive for her which builds attraction."

His advice is to simply send a text the next day saying you had a great time. See if she initiates a text conversation, but don't force it if she doesn't. Wait for her to suggest the next date.

Even if she doesn't text the next day, don't stress. As Wayne advises, focus on setting up the next definite date. She may just have a different texting style. As long as she agrees to another date, that's the main thing.

When To Text After Setting Up A Date

What about texting after you've set the time and place for your next rendezvous? Is it advisable to text in between making plans and the actual date?

Wayne cautions against too much texting between setting a date and actually going out:

"Avoid making small talk over text in between setting up the date. There’s no need to check in multiple times before meeting up. Save the conversation for the date, keep some mystery and excitement."

His advice is to primarily text for efficient date planning, not drawn-out convos. A quick confirmation text the day before or day of the date is fine, but don't belabor the messaging.

Let her wonder about you rather than knowing everything through non-stop texting. Set the date efficiently, go radio silent for a few days, then re-engage briefly to lock in plans before meeting up.

Signs She's Losing Interest Over Text

How can you discern from a woman's texting patterns whether she's losing interest? A few subtle clues according to Wayne:

• She starts responding with 1-word answers frequently.
• Her texts get noticeably shorter.
• She takes much longer to respond.
• She stops initiating text exchanges.
• She gives vague answers about future dates.

However, don't assume the worst if her texting habits change slightly. Look at her actions - is she still agreeing to dates? Is she still flirting/affectionate on the actual dates? Focus on whether she's still investing in person.

When To Stop Texting Altogether

What if you're noticing more and more of the above signs and suspect she's losing interest? Wayne advises:

"If you are not getting at least a 50/50 ratio of texts initiated, stop texting her altogether. If she is still interested, she will start texting you. If she doesn’t, she’s likely not that interested anymore and you should move on."

Don't chase if you're clearly putting in more effort. You want equal investment from both parties. If she goes radio silent, stop texting her and move on mentally. If her interest is there, she'll be the one to re-initiate contact eventually.

Texting Tips For When She Goes Quiet - Chase or Back?

Say you go on a great first date, followed by a few days of solid text banter. But then she starts getting quieter in her responses.

Or you had an amazing second or third date, with making plans for the fourth. But suddenly her texts drop off.

What should you do when a woman goes quiet on you over text? Here are some tips from dating coach Corey Wayne:

Don't perceive silence as rejection. There could be many reasons for her slowed texting that have nothing to do with you. Give her the benefit of the doubt first.

Focus on her in-person interest. Look at her enthusiasm on actual dates - is she still flirting and engaged with you face-to-face? That's the best indicator if she's still interested.

Pull back yourself. Give her space and stop initiating as much. Let her match your effort level again.

Suggest the next date. Float setting the definite next date and gauge her response. She may just be someone who loses text momentum quickly.

If she's vague, pull back more. If she gives wishy-washy responses about making plans again, leave the ball in her court and don't pursue as much.

Don't take lack of texting personally. Assume positive intent. She may just have stuff going on in life that's distracting her temporarily.

Focus your energy elsewhere. Continue meeting and texting other women so you don't fixate on her silence. Abundance mentality is key.

Again, look at her actual date engagement as your gauge. If she's still excited in person, her texting habits may just be a preference. Go with the flow. But if she starts seeming indifferent on dates too, it's time to move on.

When She Never Initiates Texts First

Say you've been on several dates with a woman, and things seem to be going well in-person. But you notice she never initiates text conversations - it's always you. What should you do?

Wayne's advice is simple - stop texting her altogether:

"If a woman doesn’t initiate texts, stop texting her. Let her pursue you. If she doesn’t, leave her alone and move on. She’s just not that interested."

His perspective is that you should never be putting in more effort than a woman via texting. At a minimum, she should be initiating texts about 50% of the time.

If you find yourself constantly the one reaching out first, even after sleeping together, that's a sign she's just not super invested. Her effort in-person may also be lackluster.

Don't chase - take a step back and see if she pursues you. If she doesn't, she won't magically become more interested by you texting more. Move on mentally and refocus your energy on other women.

Equal effort is key. If all the texting momentum rests on your shoulders, that imbalance will eventually kill her attraction and interest.

Zero Texting Between Dates?

Some dating coaches advise minimal to zero texting between the first few dates with someone new. The rationale is that it builds mystery and prevents over-investing before you know someone well.

Wayne disagrees with that extreme approach. He believes a moderate level of texting between dates is fine, as long as it's focused on arranging the next get together:

"I don’t think you need to have zero texting between dates. Some light, fun texts here and there focused on logistics is fine in the beginning. You just don’t want paragraphs of long conversations before establishing a real connection in person."

His perspective is that occasional relevant texts are great, like sending a funny meme related to an inside joke between you. Or a thoughtful text related to something she mentioned on your last date together.

Just avoid constant, drawn-out conversations over text. Keep it light and centered on planning the next date when you can actually bond in person. Find that happy medium of staying engaged enough via text without becoming her text buddy.

When To Have "The Talk"

At what stage of dating should you have "the talk" to clarify you're exclusive and stop seeing other people? Wayne cautions against jumping the gun:

"Don’t have the “let’s be exclusive” talk until you’ve had sex at least 5-10 times and have been seeing each other for 2-3 months. Jumping into exclusivity too soon leads to neediness and instability down the road."

This allows time to properly vet compatibility and see if you truly connect. It also prevents idealizing someone you barely know.

Wayne's advice is to continue casually dating and texting other women until this 2-3 month mark. Even if you feel she really likes you, take your time.

See if she eventually raises the idea of being exclusive on her own. If she doesn't by a few months in, have a discussion but don't move too quickly unless she insists. Patience early on prevents heartbreak later.

The bottom line is that finding the right texting rhythm simply takes time and calibration. Adjust to her preferred frequency and texting style. Focus on logistics and don't force conversations over text. Be patient if her texting cools off temporarily. And let her match your effort before considering exclusivity.

Master these principles from Corey Wayne and you'll be well on your way to texting success and abundance.

Key Takeaways - Try to Understand the Philosophy Behind Texting

To summarize Corey Wayne's texting philosophy:

• Focus on logistics (setting dates). Avoid long conversations over text before establishing a connection.
• Text sparingly early on. Keep a bit of distance and don't come across overly eager.
• Match her texting frequency and style. Mirror her effort level.
• Assume the best if her texting drops. Look at her actions setting dates.
• Don't over-text trying to spark lost interest. Pull back your effort if she stops initiating.

Mastering the fine balance of texting takes time and calibration. But by focusing on setting definite dates, avoiding neediness, and matching her investment, you’ll be well on your way to texting success.