Is Sending Double Text a Turn Off When Dating? ๐Ÿ“ฒ

Double texting ๐Ÿ’Œ๐Ÿ’Œ can come across as needy. Learn when using double text your date is okay or becomes clingy overkill.

Double texting can be a controversial topic when it comes to dating and new relationships. Some view hitting "send" twice without getting a reply as a major faux pas, while others see it as perfectly acceptable. So when is it okay to double text your crush or someone you just started seeing? Let's take a closer look.

What is a Double Text?

A double text simply refers to sending two or more text messages to someone in a row without getting a response. For example, you send your crush a text asking how their day is going. After not hearing back for a while, you send another text saying you hope they're having a great day.

Some other examples of double texts:

  • Sending a follow-up question after not getting a reply to your initial message
  • Sending multiple texts sharing your thoughts on a topic without waits in between
  • Following up the next day if your previous message was ignored

The Complexities of Double Texting

Opinions on double texting tend to fall into two camps:

Against Double Texting: Those who are against double texting see it as a form of clinginess or desperation. They argue you should avoid blowing up someone's phone and let them reply in their own time, even if it takes days. If someone is interested, they will text you back without needing a nudge.

For Double Texting: Proponents of double texting don't think it automatically comes across as needy. They argue occasional extra messages are fine as people get busy and may genuinely miss your initial text. Double texting can show you are making an effort and interested in keeping the conversation going.

Those who are against double texting see it as a form of clinginess or desperation.Those who are against double texting see it as a form of clinginess or desperation.

When It's OK to Send a Double Text?

Though opinions vary, there are some best practices around double texting:

  • Early Relationship Stage: Use caution when double texting someone you just started seeing or don't know well. At this delicate point, holding off can ensure you don't come on too strong.
  • Established Dynamic: Once you have an established texting dynamic, double texts are more expected and natural as part of regular conversation flow.
  • Send With Time In Between: Don't bombard someone's phone with multiple messages back-to-back. Allow reasonable time lags between your messages.
  • Add Value: Make your follow-up text contribute value by providing an on-topic question, insight, or joke to keep conversation interesting.
  • Change Subjects: Introduce a fresh subject if your last one ran dry and give the other person something new to respond to.
  • Special Circumstances: Exceptions like confirming details of plans already made warrant a check-in text if your original message was missed.
  • Limit Persistence: Don't text relentlessly without replies. Maximum two follow-up messages spaced out over a day or two.

Signs You Should Avoid Double Texting

There are certain scenarios where holding off is wise to avoid being perceived as pushy:

  • They never initiate text conversations - you're always the one reaching out.
  • Their replies tend to be curt and abrupt, showing low interest.
  • They frequently take very long to respond, keeping conversations dragged out.
  • You already sent a recent follow-up message that was ignored.
  • Your messages are specifically about trying to set up a date and being persistent.

Other Communication Tips

  • Suggest a phone call if texting communication isn't smooth. Hearing someone's voice can improve connection.
  • Discuss texting preferences openly once a relationship is established.
  • Focus on in-person interactions if texting feels like a chore with someone.
  • Don't take a lack of texting too personally - focus on how they act with you face-to-face.
  • Evaluate if your texting styles may simply be incompatible before writing someone off.

Don't take a lack of texting too personally - focus on how they act with you face-to-face.Don't take a lack of texting too personally - focus on how they act with you face-to-face.

In Summary

When it comes to double texting, use good judgment. While occasionally sending an extra message is normal, be cautious not to overdo it, especially earlier on. Pay attention to the other person's communication style and cues to determine appropriate texting behavior between you. With the right balance, double texting now and then should not be a major dating faux pas.

Is Double Texting Desperate When Dating?

Double texting can sometimes get a bad rap as coming across as "desperate" when you're dating someone new. But is firing off another text really taboo when you're eager to keep the conversation flowing? Or has double texting become more acceptable? Let's debunk whether routinely hitting "send" twice in a row is a dating don't.

What's Considered Double Texting?

Double texting refers to sending two messages back-to-back without getting a reply to your first text. For instance, you ask someone a question but after some time passes you send another text saying you're curious to hear their thoughts. Or your first message wraps up a topic and you send a follow-up starting a new thread.

Some other examples:

  • Sending a meme or link to keep the conversation going
  • Following up if you don't get a response after a few hours
  • Saying you're looking forward to your upcoming date if they didn't reply to your last message

Does Double Texting Appear Desperate?

Opinion is divided on whether frequently double texting without prompting comes across as desperate:

Yes camp: They argue double texting often signals over-eagerness and a lack of patience. You risk smothering someone if you can't give them space to respond on their own timing. It also may suggest you have nothing better going on.

No camp: They believe the occasional extra text is totally normal and not a sign of desperation. People get busy and may genuinely have missed seeing your first message pop up. Double texting shows you're making an effort and interested.

Tips to Avoid Seeming Desperate

If you want to avoid appearing clingy or over-eager, here are some double texting best practices:

  • Wait some time between your first and follow-up messages so you're not constantly badgering them.
  • Add value with your extra text by asking an on-topic question or furthering the conversation.
  • Change subjects if your last thread ended and you want to start something fresh.
  • Limit double texts to 1-2 follow-up messages spaced out over a day or two max if you get no reply.
  • Avoid rapid-fire texting or bombarding someone if your messages are specifically asking them out.
  • Don't keep double texting if your messages consistently go unanswered for long periods.

Wait some time between your first and follow-up messages so you're not constantly badgering them.Wait some time between your first and follow-up messages so you're not constantly badgering them.

The Verdict

Occasional double texting in the right context shouldnโ€™t automatically come across as desperate. However, reliance on routinely sending multiple texts without replies could signal over-eagerness. As with most dating behaviors, moderation and self-awareness are key. Pay attention to the other person's communication preferences and adjust your texting habits accordingly. With the right balance, double texting now and then can be perfectly acceptable, not desperate!

When Is It Okay to Double Text in Dating?

Navigating texting etiquette with new romantic interests can be tricky. Should you avoid double texting someone you just started seeing? Or is firing off two messages without a reply situational depending on the stage and context? Let's break down appropriate times when double texting a dating prospect is fair game.

Double Texting Early On

When you've just started seeing someone or matched on a dating app, exercise more caution with double texting. At this delicate getting-to-know-you point, they may not yet feel comfortable with constant messaging. Give them space to respond to your initial text on their own timing without barraging their phone. If they don't reply the first time but are interested, theyโ€™ll likely circle back eventually.

Double Texting Once Youโ€™re Established

After youโ€™ve gone on a number of dates and built a foundation, double texting becomes more natural and expected. At this stage you have an established texting rapport and rhythm, so peppering in a few extra messages without waits feels like standard communication flow versus desperation.

Logistical Double Texting

Double texting is fair game when you need to lock down logistical details, like confirming specifics of plans already made. Since coordination takes precedence, a follow-up nudge text is totally understandable if they missed your first message with a key question or update.

Value-Adding Double Texting

Double texting works best if your follow-up message contributes value, whether it's posing an on-topic question, offering an insightful reaction, or adding a joke that plays off what you last discussed. This shows you're making an effort to keep the conversation stimulating versus just saying "hi" again.

When to Avoid Double Texting

Refrain from double texting if:

  • They never initiate text exchanges - you're always reaching out first.
  • Their responses tend to be minimal effort (one-word answers, etc).
  • It's specifically asking them out after no reply to your initial date invite.
  • You already double texted very recently with no acknowledgement.

In Summary

The verdict? Double texting has its place when done appropriately. While exercse restraint when getting to know someone new, the occasional extra text is fine once you're established - especially if your follow-up message adds value. Pay attention to context clues to determine when it's okay to send message two without hearing back!

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