The "Fuck Yes" Law of Making Decisions 😤

Fuck Yes or Fuck No - The Supposed Dating Litmus Test

“If it’s not a fuck yes, it's a no.” This quote encapsulates a popular concept in modern dating advice. The idea is simple: you should only date people who make you say “fuck yeah!” about spending time together and answer the same way. Getting involved with someone who elicits anything less is a waste of precious time and energy.

This “fuck yes or no” law does carry some truth. It feels fantastic when someone is thrilled to pieces about you. And no one wants to convince someone to hang out who’d rather be anywhere else. But this notion also has limitations that can sabotage our love lives, and also job opportunities, friends, etc. Let's dig deeper.

The Allure and Flaws of Requiring Fuck Yes

Requiring fuck yes enthusiasm seems to make sense. But several problems arise:

Our Fuck Yes Radar Fails Us

For many people, past “fuck yeses” ended up being unavailable, unfaithful, or bad fits. Our fuck yes detector picks alluring yet unhealthy partners. Strictly following it leads us astray.

Attraction Can Start Small and Grow

Research indicates most lasting bonds begin platonically. But expecting instant fuck yes feelings early on means we nix promising connections before they fully blossom.

It’s Unrealistic Long-Term

Even in great relationships, both partners aren’t fuck yes all day, every day, for years on end. Perpetual exhilaration is a Hollywood myth that harms real relationships.

The Healthier Mindset: Discernment, Not Ultimatums

Rather than issuing a blanket fuck yes or no edict, we should discern wisely. Ask yourself:

• Is this an attraction of inspiration or deprivation?
• Was I ever fuck yes about them? If so, why did that fade?
• Do moments of fuck yes happen sometimes? What’s different then?
• Which parts of me feel fuck no? Can I honor those feelings?
• Could reasonable requests nudge this towards fuck yes?
• Am I enjoying time together, even without constant fireworks?

With reflection and self-insight, we can navigate dating greys rather than demand nonstop red-hot passion. Thoughtfulness saves us from dead ends while giving potentials room to grow. We’ll organically wind up with fuck yeses who stand the test of time.

Like with any rule or principle, the "Fuck Yes or No" concept should be applied judiciously. It's meant as a guiding light, not an absolute doctrine. Situations arise where we feel unsure at first, then realize over time that we're actually very excited. And friendships or working relationships may merit some initial patience to see if stronger enthusiasm develops.

The key is not to use "Maybe it'll get better" as an excuse for clinging to dead-end connections. Be honest with yourself - is this showing genuine potential to become a "Fuck Yes"? Or are you making excuses and wasting finite time? Check your motives.

We don't totally agree that "lukewarm" connections are inherently useless. Sometimes decent situations turn fucking awesome given a nudge. The question is, are you nudging constructively or just forcing a square peg in a round hole?

Apply the Fuck Yes mindset as a focusing tool for priority and self-respect, not as license to be closed-minded or self-sabotage. It should excite and empower, not limit. Approach dating and life itself with an open hand, not a closed fist.

The Fuck Yes mentality parallels the "Hell Yes" professional mindset described in The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. He explains how suppressing our essential desires leads to stagnation and mediocrity. Whereas fully embracing and expressing our core excitement broadcasts a magnetic "Hell Yes" energy. People resonate with our enthusiasm and opportunities flourish.

So while romantic or social fuck yeses matter, the most crucial one is inward. Does your career, lifestyle, and self-expression elicit an authentic "fuck yes!" within? If not, have the courage to acknowledge why. Then progress towards aligning action with passion. The rest will follow.

Fuck Yes Fades Over Time - And That's Okay

We must remember even amazing relationships have fuck yes dry spells. Most days may be affirmatively good. Sometimes jubilant glee erupts randomly. Other plateaus bring less pizazz. That’s what real love looks like.

The early days brim bright with excitement. But expecting that intensity forever is unhealthy. As comfort replaces butterflies, we erroneously think something’s amiss. Meanwhile, studies show low-key companionship predicts relationship satisfaction and longevity more than rollercoaster passion.

In dating, don’t panic if stable caring replaces dizzy infatuation over time. Celebrate building cooperative intimacy, not drama. Old embers stoked anew can rekindle periodic fuck yes sparks as well.

Like Any Law, Nuance Matters

As with any principle, the "fuck yes or no" law has nuances in relationships. Absolutes rarely account for human complexity. What if fuck yes feelings fade in a formerly thriving partnership? Does that mean it's time to break up? Not necessarily. Long-term love involves effort amid the inevitable ups and downs. The key is noticing when fuck yes returns during high points. If it's mostly gone or takes a disturbing event to reappear, that reveals issues to address.

Healthy relationships encompass both jubilant fuck yes and cozy contentment. We shouldn't constantly demand peak fireworks or something's amiss. Nor should we settle for chronic bored, listless apathy. There's a balance where even calm moments hold intimacy's glow. Seek partnerships where fuck yes's embers smolder even when flames aren't blazing. Tend those softly to fuel glorious occasional infernos.

The Fucking Middle Path

There's wisdom in avoiding extremes. Fuck yes can't be our sole relationship litmus test. Few people instantly elicit that response in us forevermore. If we nix everyone who doesn't sustain euphoria, we'll end up chronically alone.

Apply nuance instead of absolutism. Recognize that mutual care, understanding and effort can nurture fuck yes feelings over time. Not constantly, but often enough. Base decisions on the full spectrum of your interactions, not just the highest highs.

The grey area matters equally. Explore it with curiosity, not judgement. Does this connection elicit glimmers of joy amid the ennui? Can we resurrect misplaced passion through vulnerability and listening? What circumstances conduce peeks of glee? Thoughtful attention reveals truths absolutism ignores.

Will you meet someone interesting at Invme? Fuck Yes!

invme.com is a free city social network app to discover and share what is happening here and now in your city. Share, discover and connect: invme.com offers both locals and tourists the way to share events in the city in an easier way.

Key Takeaways: Should You Date Someone Who’s Not Fuck Yes About You?

• Chemistry can start small yet crescendo into enduring fuck yes feelings given care and time. Not every match ignites fireworks immediately.
• Lasting fuck yeses reflect your full self, not past unhealthy patterns. Avoid those who tap previous wounds despite seeming “perfect.”
• Even wonderful relationships include fuck yes fluctuations. Don’t panic during valleys or chase peak highs constantly.
• Ask nuanced questions when dating greys emerge, not rash fuck yes or no edicts. Thoughtful reflection prevents self-sabotage.
• If someone truly makes you say fuck no inside, honor those feelings kindly. But give mutually caring connections room to blossom organically without forcing things.

The fuck yes or no concept contains truth: don’t waste time chasing disinterested people against all odds. But few meets every ideal trait instantly. Rather than demand soulmate-movie passion constantly, compassionately explore each compelling potential bond. When we understand ourselves, we can nurture wonderful relationships where we ultimately say fuck yes for years to come.