Have More Sex Please! Says New York Times 📰 Sex Column

Magdalene J. Taylor wrote a column for the New York Times in 2023 headlined "Have More Sex, Please!" She argues that Americans are having less sex than ever before, contributing to a loneliness epidemic, and that those capable should have more sex as both personal guidance and a political statement.

Column "Have More Sex, Please!"

According to a survey by the General Social Survey, almost every demographic group of American adults, young and old, single and coupled, rich and poor are having less sex than they have had at any point in at least the past three decades. More than a quarter of Americans hadn’t had sex even once in the past year. This rise in sexlessness closely parallels a decline in sex.

Sex reduces pain, relieves stress, improves sleep, lowers blood pressure and strengthens heart health. A lack of sex can easily translate into less socialization, fewer families and a sicker population. Taylor wrote that sex is intrinsic to a society built on social connection, yet right now, our connections and our sex lives are collapsing alongside each other.

The number of Americans who report having no close friends at all has quadrupled since 1990, according to a survey by the Survey Center on American Life. An average American in 2021 spent 58 percent less time with friends than in 2013, the Census Bureau found. As loneliness has accelerated, it has become self-perpetuating: our current societal loneliness — and sexlessness — is a result of social and cultural shifts, while its continuation perpetuates those shifts further.

Estimates vary, but somewhere between a third and two-thirds of Americans report being lonely. Loneliness exists on a feedback loop: fraying cultural bonds, damaged physical health and reduced social contact both exacerbate loneliness and are exacerbated by it. The loneliness epidemic may be a societal issue, but it can be solved, at least partly, at the level of individual bedrooms.

Taylor concludes that those of us in a position to be having more sex ought to be doing so, as it is both personal guidance — your doctor might agree — and a political statement. Having more sex can be an act of social solidarity in 21st-century America, where loneliness is omnipresent. Sex is intrinsic to a society built on social connection, yet our connections and sex lives are collapsing. For many, having more sex could help strengthen our social fabric.

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