If You Love, Let Them Go: How to Let It Go 💔

What's behind the saying "if you love someone, let them go"? ❤️‍🩹 This explores the meaning of letting go of love, sacrifice, breakups.

The age-old saying “if you love someone, let them go” has been passed down through generations and remains relevant in relationships today. But what does this cryptic phrase actually mean, and is there any truth behind it? Let's explore the origins and significance of this iconic advice.

If You Love Someone, Let Them Go: Exploring the Meaning Behind the Saying

The Roots of “Let It Go”

The roots of “letting go” trace back centuries, with versions of the saying appearing in multiple religious and philosophical texts. Greek philosopher Epictetus stated, “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." Taoist philosopher Laozi similarly noted, “By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go.” These ancient wisdoms already echoed the concept of non-attachment and acceptance as paths to growth.

In the 19th century, the famous phrase “if you love something, let it go...” arose in poetic form. The 1875 poem “Nonsense Rhyme” by Elizabeth Akers contained the line “If you love someone, set them free.” This morphed into the now common version, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.”

So this well-known saying advocates selflessness - letting go out of care, not control. It means placing a loved one’s needs first, even if it requires sacrifice. Revisiting its origins lends deeper meaning to the maxim in relationships today.

Greek philosopher Epictetus stated, “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.Greek philosopher Epictetus stated, “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.

Modern Interpretations: What Does It Mean?

In current dating contexts, this saying suggests that holding on too tightly to a partner can backfire. Forcing them to stay against their wishes breeds resentment. Love cannot be demanded - it must be given freely.

Letting go demonstrates true care for the other person’s happiness and autonomy - even if it conflicts with your own desires. This selfless love enables your partner to find their path, whether or not it includes you.

This advice is often applied to breakups. Letting go then means accepting when a relationship cannot healthily continue. Though excruciatingly difficult, ending things graciously can be an act of love. It allows both people to heal and seek partners they’re compatible with.

Letting go is not about indifference - it’s often the hardest choice because you care deeply. As they say, “if you love them let them go.” Prioritizing your partner’s wellbeing above your wish to stay together is the ultimate self-sacrifice.

Of course, letting go does not necessarily mean goodbye forever. It gives you both space to gain perspective. In some cases, after time and growth, partners realize they were meant to be and get back together. With self-work, they can then build a healthier relationship.

When Is It Time to Let Go?

Deciding when to let someone go is highly personal. Here are some signs it may be time:

  • You’ve tried addressing issues in the relationship but nothing changes.
  • Your partner seems unhappy but won’t end things themselves.
  • The relationship is preventing your own growth or causing excessive stress.
  • You want fundamentally different things for the future.
  • Communication has broken down completely.
  • There are serious trust issues or infidelity.
  • Your self-esteem is suffering.
  • Physical, emotional or substance abuse exists.

Of course, seeking help through counseling should come before ending most relationships. But if problems still seem insurmountable, letting go may be healthiest for both of you.

If physical, emotional or substance abuse exists, be sure — it's time to let goIf physical, emotional or substance abuse exists, be sure — it's time to let go

How to Let Go in a Loving Way

Letting go of someone you profoundly care for is excruciating. But certain actions can help you do so gracefully:

  • Have an honest but compassionate conversation explaining your reasons.
  • Give them space rather than pleading to stay together.
  • Avoid vilifying them or turning bitter.
  • Refrain from rushing into a rebound relationship.
  • Remove constant reminders like social media connections.
  • Focus on your own growth and priorities.
  • Get support from trusted friends and family.
  • Permit yourself to grieve the loss.
  • Seek counseling to process the transition.

Letting go with love enables both people to move forward. Though heartbreaking initially, it ultimately reveals an act of deep caring.

Finding Closure After Letting Go

Getting closure post-breakup helps you process, reflect, and eventually move on. Here are some tips:

  • Allow yourself to fully feel the emotions rather than suppressing them.
  • Look for lessons from the relationship you can apply going forward.
  • Forgive yourself and your ex for any missteps.
  • Express gratitude for the meaningful moments you shared.
  • Wish them well on their journey, even if it diverges from yours.
  • Visualize yourself happily starting a new chapter.
  • Make space in your life for new growth opportunities.
  • Focus energy into self-care and nurturing new relationships.
  • Avoid viewing the breakup as a personal failure.

Though intensely difficult at first, closure loosens the grasp of past regrets and hurts. This clears space for the next phase of your life. You honor the love shared while feeling hope for loving again.

Focus energy into self-care and nurturing new relationshipsFocus energy into self-care and nurturing new relationships

When to Get Additional Help

For some, getting over a breakup requires additional support beyond self-care. Seek help from a licensed mental health professional if you’re experiencing:

  • Depressive symptoms lasting over two weeks.
  • Disordered eating, sleeping, or other routines.
  • Inability to perform daily responsibilities.
  • Thoughts of self-harm.

Counseling can provide tools to healthily process grief, gain clarity, and overcome relationship challenges. Friends and family offer emotional support, but a therapist offers objective guidance tailored to your needs. There is no shame in needing extra help – everyone faces hardships requiring support at times.

The Courage to Let Go

"If you love someone, let them go" represents an act of courage. Loving without clinging to a predetermined outcome is vulnerable yet powerful. Letting go centers the other person’s wellbeing, even when conflicting with your own desires. While often excruciating, appropriate goodbyes can be an expression of a pure, unconditional love. Self-sacrifice proves love’s depths.

This saying also underscores love’s unpredictability. Letting go surrenders control of the outcome. It gives the mysterious forces of fate space to operate. Perhaps your paths will reconnect someday when the timing is right. If so, your love stands a chance of flourishing anew. But this remains unknown. Letting go is a leap of faith, but one that embodies love’s true essence.

Letting go surrenders control of the outcomeLetting go surrenders control of the outcome

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Reflecting on Letting Go of Someone You Love

Few experiences rival the anguish of letting go of someone you profoundly care for. When a relationship ends, the sense of loss can be devastating. Entwined lives suddenly unravel, leaving you untethered and alone. Although excruciating, letting go ultimately conveys deep love - placing the other person’s growth and fulfillment above your own.

True love recognizes when it’s time to let the other person follow their destiny, even if that journey diverges from yours. Knowing when to let someone go emerges from a place of courage and sacrifice.

But letting go does not necessarily mean the relationship is lost forever. With self-reflection and personal growth, some couples realize the breakup gave them needed perspective. They reconnect with a matured outlook, ready to foster a healthier bond.

Regardless of the outcome, letting go comes from a place of caring. Though the grief of loss is profound, you gain comfort knowing the decision honored your partner’s wellbeing. Letting go hurts so much because you genuinely loved so much. The pain reflects how meaningful the relationship was.

When one chapter ends, have faith that life opens other doors. Though unknown, a brighter tomorrow awaits. Letting go, while difficult, allows you to boldly walk through the next portal. The future remains unwritten - and that brings promise of joyful new love.


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