How to Get Over Someone You Love: A Guide to Healing Your Heart ❤️

Getting over someone after a breakup or the end of a relationship can feel incredibly difficult and painful. Whether it was a long-term relationship, a situationship, or even an unrequited crush, having intense feelings for someone makes it hard to move on when things don't work out. Letting go and allowing yourself to heal is a process that takes time and intention.

Understanding Why Ending a Relationship Hurts

When a relationship ends, the grief can feel raw and jarring. You may experience shock, numbness, anger, and sadness - all normal reactions when processing loss. The depth of pain often relates to factors like how serious the relationship was, how integrated your lives were, or how much of your identity was tied up with your partner.

Additionally, breakups cause an increase in depression for many people. Research shows that heartbreak affects the parietal and frontal lobes of the brain and impacts dopamine production, the neurotransmitter that regulates emotional responses. This is why you may struggle with negative thoughts, feelings of detachment, lack of motivation, and more after a breakup. Your brain is literally grieving the loss of love.

How Long Does It Take to Get Over Someone?

There's no magic number for how long it takes to get over an ex. Some people start to feel better after a few weeks, while for others it takes many months. According to experts, if you were together for at least a year, allow yourself at least a year to heal.

The most important thing is not rushing yourself or adhering to some arbitrary timeline. Give yourself the necessary time and space to grieve, process complex emotions, and start to move forward.

Tips for Getting Over Someone You Love

While it won't happen overnight, there are many ways to help yourself through the painful process of getting over someone:

1. Let Yourself Feel the Loss

Allowing yourself to fully feel the grief is crucial in order to move through it. Bottling up emotions or distracting yourself with activities won't lead to true healing. Let the tears flow, scream into a pillow, listen to breakup songs - whatever helps you release the sadness. This is an important first step.

2. Remove Physical Reminders

Having constant reminders of your ex around the house makes it harder to move on. When you're ready, remove photos, gifts, mementos, even old text threads. This frees up emotional space to grieve and start fresh. Keep items stored away, not destroyed, in case you want them later.

3. Spend Time With Loved Ones

Don't isolate yourself during this difficult period. Spending time with close friends and family who care about you provides much-needed connection and lifts your spirits. Let loved ones know how they can best support you.

4. Engage in New Hobbies and Experiences

Pushing yourself to try new things helps prove that life goes on and new possibilities await. Take that pottery class you've been eyeing or learn to cook new recipes. Say yes to party invites or weekend trips with friends. New hobbies and experiences boost your mood.

5. Write Down Your Feelings

Journaling is very therapeutic following a breakup. Write letters you'll never send to your ex, compose poetry, just vent your emotions. Putting your feelings down on paper can help you process the pain and start to move past it.

6. Limit Social Media Contact

Constantly seeing your ex on social media will make getting over them much harder. At least during the initial stages of grief, block or unfollow them so you stop checking their profiles and comparing lives. Out of sight can lead to out of mind.

7. Focus on Your Own Growth

A breakup gives you the chance to identify areas for self-improvement and become your best self. What did you learn from this relationship about your needs? How can you boost your confidence? Pursuing personal growth empowers you to heal.

8. Seek Professional Help If Needed

For some, the grief process following a breakup may require therapy. If you're struggling with depression, anxiety, traumatic symptoms, or feel stuck in one stage of grief, seeking counseling can help you heal in a healthy way. There's no shame in getting professional support.

9. Be Patient With Yourself

Above all, treat yourself gently through this period of heartbreak and transition. Don't get frustrated if you still feel sad after a certain amount of time passes. Each person's healing looks different, so release expectations and take it one day at a time.

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Getting Over Someone You Never Dated

Coping with unrequited love or getting over someone you never officially dated can be confusing. You may wonder why you feel so heartbroken over a situationship or crush that was noncommittal. Here are some tips:

• Validate your feelings. There's no rulebook about what you "should" feel. It's okay to be sad over losing someone you cared about, regardless of labels.
• Block them on social media to avoid constant reminders and comparisons. Out of sight can help get them out of mind.
• Don't blame yourself. Rejection hurts but remember your worth isn't defined by whether someone reciprocates feelings.
• Reflect on any lessons this experience might offer in terms of boundaries, communication, or patterns to watch for in future dating. Heartbreak can guide personal growth.
• Give it time. Unrequited love or unofficial relationships still build an emotional connection, the loss of which needs to be grieved. Be patient and focus on self-care.

When to Seek Professional Help After a Breakup

It's completely normal to feel depressed and mourn a relationship for weeks or months after it ends. However, there are certain symptoms that may indicate a need for professional support:

• Sleep issues like insomnia, hypersomnia, or restless sleep
• Loss of appetite, overeating, or disordered eating habits
• Inability to focus at work/school or fulfill daily responsibilities
• Neglecting personal hygiene or health
• Extreme sadness, numbness, or emptiness that persists
• Panic attacks or disabling anxiety
• Suicidal thoughts

If you experience any of the above symptoms for more than 2-4 weeks post-breakup, seeking help from a mental health professional can aid your recovery. Friends and family provide invaluable support, but a therapist offers objective guidance.

Conclusion

The end of a romantic relationship - whether a long-term love or a fleeting crush - uproots your sense of self and stability. Allowing yourself to grieve, tap into support systems, and engage in intentional healing actions will help you emerge stronger in time. Be patient and remember that the confusion and hurt you feel now will not last forever. With self-care and grace, you can mend your broken heart.

Resources to Help You Move On

Online therapy services like BetterHelp offer convenient and affordable mental health support from licensed professionals.

Journaling your thoughts and emotions can provide a safe outlet for inner processing. The Five Minute Journal provides helpful prompts.

Books like It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken by Amiira Ruotola and Greg Behrendt offer relatable stories and breakup advice.

Support groups (in-person or virtual) connect you with others experiencing heartbreak for mutual understanding.